Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
