I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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