You just made me feel so damn special
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
