the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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