My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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