i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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