she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
