Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
