Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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