Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
