I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
