oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
