What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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