Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
