he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was not drunk enough for that final.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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