with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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