i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
