eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
