We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
