How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Randomize
