You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
