Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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