Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
