Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You are a genius and a whore.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
