He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
