I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Fuck me I smell like cheese
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
