Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
