now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
