I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
