About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
