So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
is it fun? or sober?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
