my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We talked him into tasing himself.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
