Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry redmanthatcould hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(440): View more from Ohio

My astrological sign? Vagitarius.

Fav 20 3889 1044
share tweet
(623): View more from Arizona

Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.

Fav 120 8486 1521
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup

Fav 15 924 7130
share tweet
(416): View more from Toronto

Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?

Fav 12 1210 3158
share tweet
(310): View more from California

we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.

Fav 9 1510 3281
share tweet
(916): View more from California

Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.

Fav 5 3950 992
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(404): View more from Georgia

The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed

Fav 10 3256 1065
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had

Fav 5 368 188
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(605): View more from South Dakota

Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"

Fav 0 57 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT