Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
