3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
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