Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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