I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
