I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
