I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He did a backflip because drugs
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