Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
