She's JV to your varsity
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Randomize
