IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My feet surprised me
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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