Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
BRING THE BAGELS
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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