Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
