You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
