ttyl tear gas
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Holy shit dude........stairs
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
