Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
