I hate your face
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
