Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
