The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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