oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
